I like to think I'm pretty good with disagreements and arguments, but when the time comes, I'm usually reminded that I'm only as good as my fellow arguer. What I mean is, when I perceive someone else as passive-aggressive, I can't really rise above that and communicate properly. It's like we have to work on the lowest common denominator.
Similarly, I HATE hostile tension and terse remarks, even when it's between people that I don't know. It makes me feel creepy-crawly.
Two examples:
1. There's a woman who frequently rides the same bus as me, with her two small children. The girl is probably around 4 years old, and the boy is younger. The woman is constantly yelling at them, threatening them through clenched teeth and yanking them around by their little arms. Kids touch things, kids can't read minds. They don't know that you want them to sit or stand or move... but she's not patient at all. She doesn't request, she just snaps. And it makes me feel sick to my stomach.
2. Today in the Southdale library computer lab, a young woman made a short, quiet phone call. I know it's not allowed, but I thought it was relatively harmless. An older woman said nastily, "This is a no-cell phone zone!" The girl replied with, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that."
"Well you should have known! There are signs everywhere! You need an eye exam."
"I'm really very sorry. Thank you for pointing this out to me." -- then she left the room.
The older woman crowned the entire exchange with, "I don't need to be respectful when someone else is breaking the rules!"
Clearly, she fails to realize that getting into a nasty little spat, which 15 other people are tensely trying to ignore, is far more disturbing and distracting than a 8-second whispered phone call!
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