For those of you following (and/or concerned about) my current state of affairs and mental health:
- After this week, final exams will be over, and I will have failed my classes. What this means for my GPA and my standing at the University, I'm not sure. Nothing good. I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't.
- I've decided not to go to Minneapolis Community & Technical College next month. I just can't do it. I just can't. (But this isn't over...)
- I had a dentist intake appointment on Monday (x-rays, etc.) and I will have a cleaning on Friday. After more than two years, I am just so glad I can afford it out-of-pocket.
- After the blizzard that hit over the weekend, I had a flat tire fixed and a new serpentine belt installed in my car. I am just so glad I could afford to fix those things out-of-pocket.
- On Monday I found a therapist who is nearby, and I have an appointment tomorrow. She lets her clients decide how much they can afford to pay for each session, and that alone makes her great. I enjoyed my experience with the psychologist I saw in Madison back in 2001 (nine years ago?!), and I anticipate good things now too.
- After a supremely embarrassing and painful (physically and emotionally) experience on Sunday night, I've decided to stop drinking for a while. I rarely drink at home and when I do, it's just a glass or two of wine-- no big deal. However, if I drink with other people lately, in public or at a gathering, even one cocktail threatens to turn me into a pathetic pile of sad, lonely, self-pitying, stressed-out shit. It sucks. I'm hesitant to set a time-limit, but six months sounds pretty reasonable. It's almost 2011... I'll have a drink again on my 26th birthday, six months from now. I feel good about that.
- I am working a LOT. I worked a shift last night, a double today, and I'm back tomorrow night, Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday morning. That's a lot of work... but a lot of money too. I will have December 23rd - 26th off, and I am really looking forward to going home to spend time with my family.
2 comments:
HOORAY! I mean, not to the first two things, but to the last several.
I believe in you and I believe things are looking up.
I totally hear you on the not-drinking. I hardly ever do except at home or one glass on a date w/ JP, so if you need support here I can be your buddy. Just let me know. You're gonna save bank. And feel great!
I am pro-therapy and pro-time limits (I work well with incentives) but I am mostly in favor of doing what is right for yourself at any given time. I am very proud of you. Continue to keep an eye on yourself and adjust as needed.
My finals are over in one hour so let's see each other soon!
Thank you thank you thank you.
We'll be in touch soon.
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