quick, before i lose my steam...

I am making a concerted effort to keep my "first week of the new semester" momentum going as long as possible. I've had at least one session in each of my classes, I'm almost done with the training sessions for my new position (THAT'S another blog entirely...), and my existing job is going fine. I've committed myself (yes, that's the expression I'm using) to a fitness class with a friend. The class, which meets at 6:45 am on Fridays, is a general cardio/step class and is called "sweatshop express". I'm nervous, but also really excited because I think I'm one step closer to getting over my fear of gyms and coordinated fitness routines in general. The University system, as well as the buddy system, is really good to me.

Now, what inspired me to write at this moment in particular? Aside from the above self-pat on the back, I am really pleased with the classes I'm in and am looking forward to learning a lot, if not the overwhelming schedule. Today I had my first "Preparation for Working with Families" class (last Monday was MLK day, so I've already had my other classes at least once.) While what I have to share isn't exactly earth-shaking, it definitely made me think of all of you, and maybe I can make you chuckle.

The class is 2 credits, but a LOT of work. The contract-grading includes 10-hours of community service, research projects, papers, daily assignments... honestly, it's the same kind of workload that I have in my 4000 and 5000 level courses. Not very cool. But it's a requirement of the program. Moving on.

First of all, the professor had us all move from where we had chosen to sit, and told us to all sit as far forward as we could in the amphitheater-style room, with no spaces or empty seats at all. It felt really strange to have about 75 people crammed into the first 5 rows. The introduction that followed was the strangest lecture I've witnessed, to date. The professor is a man in his early 50's, presumably gay (due to his exceedingly flamboyant speaking patterns and mannerisms-- that's not criticism, that's for characterization in my story). He informed us that we were expected to drop the course if we missed more than ONE day (unheard of!), and followed with a powerpoint of his original mantras and expectations. It was an introduction to HOW he wanted us to learn, not WHAT we would be learning.

Everything was SO DRAMATIC! At one point he was near tears, telling we women (and excluding the 15 or so guys in the room quite definitely-- which I think was a huge mistake) that he "WANTS OUR CHILDREN". "There are men in the world who DON'T WANT YOU TO BE EDUCATED! *dramatic pause* And when you have babies some day you can ask them to come and sit next to you and you can say, 'Come, sit next to me. I adore you.' My mother never said that to me. My father never said that to me. Won't it be wonderful if the voice that you learn to find in this class can be given to your child?"

He made more analogies than I can even list here. He said our class was like a first date, the TV show "The Bachelor", a trip under the ocean in a submarine... Some of his class rules included "Replace Your Common Hostility with Common Hospitality", "Tame the Squatters in Your Mind" and "Allow Me to Access You Through Your Back Door".

I am not making this up! I know he meant the "back door" of our minds... (or something), but it was terrible imagery. The more he expressed how comfortable he wants us to be in his class, the more uncomfortable we became. It was bizarre. He reminded me a lot of Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka in the movie from the 70's. So so strange.

Wish me luck. Thanks for reading.